"Would you give me the tip of it
Because I've got a pussycat
Who hasn't eaten that."
-England's Machinson Sisters with catchy sexual innuendo
Because I've got a pussycat
Who hasn't eaten that."
-England's Machinson Sisters with catchy sexual innuendo
Nothing like 1890's sexual sense of humor to start off my night, eh? I've always tried to find things that other authors or musical artists placed as being sexual into their works. My only problem is that there are those that don't get how a little hidden vibe can be so much better than completely blunt as to what is happening.
So, I finished 'I Am Legend.' Great book! I can see why it's a hidden gem in the basic comic book geek's wet dream. You've got a guy that uses his body to get what he needs and then his brain to figure out just what vampirism is. Isn't that something a tad bit different than what you're used to when it comes to apocalypse stories? For me, it's the same old thing. Man uses muscles to tell vampires or bad humans/aliens that he is boss. Movies bring the funny dialogue but reality tells me hardly anyone comes up with a good line in real-life. Monsters scare people to the point where talking is a lot of work.
Now, 'I Am Legend' got me thinking as to what I would do if something like that came about, the apocalypse. I'd be a great candidate for such an event. For one thing, I enjoy being alone here and there for periods of time since I can amuse myself just by looking up at the stars/ceiling. My strength from working out will come in handy when various things need to be defended or taken to my own stronghold. I look damn good in a leather jacket where weapons of various sizes are seen quite well. Plus, I'm handy with the bow and handguns.
But what about the major issues before me? I'd eventually need new contacts at some point. I can't cook worth a damn. I've yet to meet a vampire or werewolf to see if I can handle a battle between us. There will be major issues if my Air Jordans get dirty. Loneliness will come about at some point because let's face it. I love pussy. I have no idea how to fix a car. Will I be able to plant a garden?
Of course, things can be made into a fantasy. 'I Am Legend' continues me on this weird apocalyptic fantasy voyage. It's like I said before. What's really cool about this book is how it just starts you right smack dab in the middle of things, vampires surrounding the house and one calling out Earth's only survivor's name. While the character, Robert Neville, might seem cool and collected, he's really a fucking mess of thoughts as to what is going on. The inevitable flashbacks as to his past continue to haunt him because everyone misses their ex-wives at some point. Along with the "Why me?" there is more going on out there amongst the vampires than he knows. Makes for a nice surprising ending, too.
What would I do first? If I were in some kind of apocalypse, I'd scout the area with caution. Much of it would be about taking notice as to which areas are habitable and accessible. Next, would be getting a generator up and running to keep food fresh with the electricity making nighttime bearable. Each morning will start with me working out to pep myself up. Weapons will be collected and upon myself at all times due to never knowing if I'll meet someone with bad intentions or a disease like vampirism. Would be kind of tempting to become a vampire, though. If I could have the style of The Lost Boys, there would be no question. Leather goes well with me when it comes to jackets.
Actually, the reality would be that I'd do my best to find survivors. I'm no meanie and may take my time at trying to find various people I've known. If you're in a different state, it may take a while but I'll pick you up for the best way to celebrate such an event. NAKED POOL PARTY! That is, if you can handle 80's music blaring as the vampires stare at our naked skin before the electric fence sends 'em charbroiled. Death by fence as you wave your tits and I wave my dick!
I know, I know. I'm on a roll to the valley of retardation. But I'm clever, people. My only issue is that, after reading the book, I'm afraid the movie is going to stray too far. There were scenes in the theatrical trailer for I Am Legend where Will Smith (Robert Neville, I assume) walks around armed with a dog. Logic should point you in knowing that the dog is his only friend on Earth. The only problem is that this doesn't happen since there is a dog BUT for a different reason than the movie. Oh, how I hate it when Hollywood takes good things only to ruin them. That ending better be kept as suddenly chaotic as the book's.
So, my day? I spent much of it avoiding my dysfunctional family. It's too long to go into specifics but just know that any holiday that celebrates family members is not good with me. Some families have alcohol issues. Mine's more along the mental states as I hit the gym to see my only family where I feel completely at home.
Okay, I've got plenty of issues. There have been 2 surgeries and a very suspicious bump on my back that have me in a mess. Should that be enough to explain why I enjoyed lifting medium amounts of weight? Gawd, the pump in my shoulders was so relaxing after talking to Tamallah. It's good to know that there are some black guys that really want to dance for their girlfriends instead of treating them like ho's.
Othere than that, my dog enjoys standing in the sprinkler on these hot days. Weird. I have to wait while 5-Pound Phooey cools off from the 94 degree weather. What I really want to do is squirt her with the hose in the backyard just to see what kind of reaction I'll get.
So, I'm outta here. No sex talk as I'm just not in the mood. Each day is spent with 1 cold root beer and a baked dog. Once we come home from a walk/run, the first thing 5-Pound Phooey does is collapse on her side and nap with her tongue out. Life should always be that amusing and as entertaining as standing in a sprinkler. Happy twats all around.
So, I finished 'I Am Legend.' Great book! I can see why it's a hidden gem in the basic comic book geek's wet dream. You've got a guy that uses his body to get what he needs and then his brain to figure out just what vampirism is. Isn't that something a tad bit different than what you're used to when it comes to apocalypse stories? For me, it's the same old thing. Man uses muscles to tell vampires or bad humans/aliens that he is boss. Movies bring the funny dialogue but reality tells me hardly anyone comes up with a good line in real-life. Monsters scare people to the point where talking is a lot of work.
Now, 'I Am Legend' got me thinking as to what I would do if something like that came about, the apocalypse. I'd be a great candidate for such an event. For one thing, I enjoy being alone here and there for periods of time since I can amuse myself just by looking up at the stars/ceiling. My strength from working out will come in handy when various things need to be defended or taken to my own stronghold. I look damn good in a leather jacket where weapons of various sizes are seen quite well. Plus, I'm handy with the bow and handguns.
But what about the major issues before me? I'd eventually need new contacts at some point. I can't cook worth a damn. I've yet to meet a vampire or werewolf to see if I can handle a battle between us. There will be major issues if my Air Jordans get dirty. Loneliness will come about at some point because let's face it. I love pussy. I have no idea how to fix a car. Will I be able to plant a garden?
Of course, things can be made into a fantasy. 'I Am Legend' continues me on this weird apocalyptic fantasy voyage. It's like I said before. What's really cool about this book is how it just starts you right smack dab in the middle of things, vampires surrounding the house and one calling out Earth's only survivor's name. While the character, Robert Neville, might seem cool and collected, he's really a fucking mess of thoughts as to what is going on. The inevitable flashbacks as to his past continue to haunt him because everyone misses their ex-wives at some point. Along with the "Why me?" there is more going on out there amongst the vampires than he knows. Makes for a nice surprising ending, too.
What would I do first? If I were in some kind of apocalypse, I'd scout the area with caution. Much of it would be about taking notice as to which areas are habitable and accessible. Next, would be getting a generator up and running to keep food fresh with the electricity making nighttime bearable. Each morning will start with me working out to pep myself up. Weapons will be collected and upon myself at all times due to never knowing if I'll meet someone with bad intentions or a disease like vampirism. Would be kind of tempting to become a vampire, though. If I could have the style of The Lost Boys, there would be no question. Leather goes well with me when it comes to jackets.
Actually, the reality would be that I'd do my best to find survivors. I'm no meanie and may take my time at trying to find various people I've known. If you're in a different state, it may take a while but I'll pick you up for the best way to celebrate such an event. NAKED POOL PARTY! That is, if you can handle 80's music blaring as the vampires stare at our naked skin before the electric fence sends 'em charbroiled. Death by fence as you wave your tits and I wave my dick!
I know, I know. I'm on a roll to the valley of retardation. But I'm clever, people. My only issue is that, after reading the book, I'm afraid the movie is going to stray too far. There were scenes in the theatrical trailer for I Am Legend where Will Smith (Robert Neville, I assume) walks around armed with a dog. Logic should point you in knowing that the dog is his only friend on Earth. The only problem is that this doesn't happen since there is a dog BUT for a different reason than the movie. Oh, how I hate it when Hollywood takes good things only to ruin them. That ending better be kept as suddenly chaotic as the book's.
So, my day? I spent much of it avoiding my dysfunctional family. It's too long to go into specifics but just know that any holiday that celebrates family members is not good with me. Some families have alcohol issues. Mine's more along the mental states as I hit the gym to see my only family where I feel completely at home.
Okay, I've got plenty of issues. There have been 2 surgeries and a very suspicious bump on my back that have me in a mess. Should that be enough to explain why I enjoyed lifting medium amounts of weight? Gawd, the pump in my shoulders was so relaxing after talking to Tamallah. It's good to know that there are some black guys that really want to dance for their girlfriends instead of treating them like ho's.
Othere than that, my dog enjoys standing in the sprinkler on these hot days. Weird. I have to wait while 5-Pound Phooey cools off from the 94 degree weather. What I really want to do is squirt her with the hose in the backyard just to see what kind of reaction I'll get.
So, I'm outta here. No sex talk as I'm just not in the mood. Each day is spent with 1 cold root beer and a baked dog. Once we come home from a walk/run, the first thing 5-Pound Phooey does is collapse on her side and nap with her tongue out. Life should always be that amusing and as entertaining as standing in a sprinkler. Happy twats all around.
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