"I'm gonna go outside and play without my pants on."
-The Whitest Kids U' Know
-The Whitest Kids U' Know
Sometimes, I think I get why the news channels give us so much information on things we don't need. Take Paris Hilton and how CNN gives us this extreme worry about what she is going to do after jail. Well, that was during the early part of the week because now it's all about Chris Benoit, the wrestler that commited suicide. My guess is that all of these news channels are worried about what those with barely 20 IQ points will do when their lives cannot find anything to do. Without Nascar, wrestling, American Idol, and baseball, by golly, we might have to meet these types of people in places other than the local Piggly Wiggly while filling up on gas! It is hard for me to not laugh when someone that has only 2 teeth stops to spit some chewing tobacco on the ground.
I have my own horror to deal with. As much as it is bad to have to watch news segments on Paris and Chris on CNN while running on the treadmill each day, my mind is more on Sara's birthday gifts. The main thing about this is that anything I like is pretty much out. We don't have the same tastes in regards to jewelry, music, or even artwork. What's a white brotha' to do?
Remember when I mentioned porn? Well, that's out because I felt that too odd for a birthday present no matter how much Jenna Jameson excites Sara. (Plus, Jenna looks really scary now) There are a few ideas but nothing is completely concrete which is why I must make my way to the mall for shopping. Normally, this is a horror I hate since I cannot stand how white girls constantly get stalked by black guys thinking it's a nice thing to spit out pick-up lines that involve the words "pussy" or "ho."
"What's a smokin' ho like you doing here?"
Don't deny it. I've seen this constantly while my other complaint is how teenage girls feel that dressing in something that shows off those lower back tattoos gives them girl-power. To explain this better, a woman that understands the effect of various ways of dressing but not giving a shit is okay. Those that bitch about men staring at them is what I hate. It just shows ignorance. If you've got it, flaunt it. If not, shut the fuck up and get it.
But the mall? I hate it but many people I know work at various shops so I get to say hi. Life is good when you get discounts on leather jackets, yo. And since I enjoy old school cartoons and music, Transformers t-shirts are in at Hot Topic. What better way to say "I Am A Geek And Proud" then to have a large robot on a blue shirt? Anyone else think that jocks are losing their appeal?
Don't fret for me, kids. I will find something for Sara as all men seem to do at the last minute. Panic makes our brains work better because of that sudden frenzy of chemicals. Either that or the laughter brought on by kids thinking that ugly $100 hoodies make them look so outrageously cool can get to me. The term is "hypebeast."
As for chemicals, I am happy to say that tomorrow is my final day on these antibiotics. No more worrying about whether a place has a bathroom when on the move. No more disgustingly bad breath that has my dog, a lover of stinky things, thinking I am due for being tongued while laying on the bed. You know things are bad when you could have sworn a gang of gremlins are playing with matches in yo' ass.
Other than all this, the days have been nothing but rain. Rain, rain, and more rain has been pouring down. The gloominess kind of has an effect on me as I don't have my usual sense of insane self. It's like how I realized today that it's hard to be silly while running on the treadmill. You're bound to fall off.
If you must know, I watched HBO's Thinking XXX again as I wrote out possible birthday gifts for Sara (July 2nd is the date, by the way). She really liked this short documentary on porn stars where everyone comes out with clothes, is photographed, and then without clothes. Here and there, we'll get interviews with famous people like Jon Waters and Gore Vidal discussing our need to be nude or psychological effects. I'm pretty sure that Gore is right in that I, as a male, am urged to squirt as much as possible. Where I draw the line is that I have no interest in fertilizing an egg. Kids suck and should be shot on sight.
But it truly is weird to just walk out with my penis just dangling around for all to see. There is some sort of slight high knowing people are looking at it. I enjoy sex when it's pure, that being about complete fun. It's just that I wish others would stop being so overly concerned about the nudity itself. You're only young once, show your tits, dick, pussy, and ass with complete happiness as well as enjoying your friends' company. Hot night? Pool? Skinny dip.
So, I've got to bid adieu as I dwell on how I'm going to shop tomorrow. Only a bit over 24 hours left for me as I have other errands to run tomorrow. Feel sorry for Sara more. According to her, it's impossible for her to get something unique for the boyfriend that has everything. Happy twats all around.
I have my own horror to deal with. As much as it is bad to have to watch news segments on Paris and Chris on CNN while running on the treadmill each day, my mind is more on Sara's birthday gifts. The main thing about this is that anything I like is pretty much out. We don't have the same tastes in regards to jewelry, music, or even artwork. What's a white brotha' to do?
Remember when I mentioned porn? Well, that's out because I felt that too odd for a birthday present no matter how much Jenna Jameson excites Sara. (Plus, Jenna looks really scary now) There are a few ideas but nothing is completely concrete which is why I must make my way to the mall for shopping. Normally, this is a horror I hate since I cannot stand how white girls constantly get stalked by black guys thinking it's a nice thing to spit out pick-up lines that involve the words "pussy" or "ho."
"What's a smokin' ho like you doing here?"
Don't deny it. I've seen this constantly while my other complaint is how teenage girls feel that dressing in something that shows off those lower back tattoos gives them girl-power. To explain this better, a woman that understands the effect of various ways of dressing but not giving a shit is okay. Those that bitch about men staring at them is what I hate. It just shows ignorance. If you've got it, flaunt it. If not, shut the fuck up and get it.
But the mall? I hate it but many people I know work at various shops so I get to say hi. Life is good when you get discounts on leather jackets, yo. And since I enjoy old school cartoons and music, Transformers t-shirts are in at Hot Topic. What better way to say "I Am A Geek And Proud" then to have a large robot on a blue shirt? Anyone else think that jocks are losing their appeal?
Don't fret for me, kids. I will find something for Sara as all men seem to do at the last minute. Panic makes our brains work better because of that sudden frenzy of chemicals. Either that or the laughter brought on by kids thinking that ugly $100 hoodies make them look so outrageously cool can get to me. The term is "hypebeast."
As for chemicals, I am happy to say that tomorrow is my final day on these antibiotics. No more worrying about whether a place has a bathroom when on the move. No more disgustingly bad breath that has my dog, a lover of stinky things, thinking I am due for being tongued while laying on the bed. You know things are bad when you could have sworn a gang of gremlins are playing with matches in yo' ass.
Other than all this, the days have been nothing but rain. Rain, rain, and more rain has been pouring down. The gloominess kind of has an effect on me as I don't have my usual sense of insane self. It's like how I realized today that it's hard to be silly while running on the treadmill. You're bound to fall off.
If you must know, I watched HBO's Thinking XXX again as I wrote out possible birthday gifts for Sara (July 2nd is the date, by the way). She really liked this short documentary on porn stars where everyone comes out with clothes, is photographed, and then without clothes. Here and there, we'll get interviews with famous people like Jon Waters and Gore Vidal discussing our need to be nude or psychological effects. I'm pretty sure that Gore is right in that I, as a male, am urged to squirt as much as possible. Where I draw the line is that I have no interest in fertilizing an egg. Kids suck and should be shot on sight.
But it truly is weird to just walk out with my penis just dangling around for all to see. There is some sort of slight high knowing people are looking at it. I enjoy sex when it's pure, that being about complete fun. It's just that I wish others would stop being so overly concerned about the nudity itself. You're only young once, show your tits, dick, pussy, and ass with complete happiness as well as enjoying your friends' company. Hot night? Pool? Skinny dip.
So, I've got to bid adieu as I dwell on how I'm going to shop tomorrow. Only a bit over 24 hours left for me as I have other errands to run tomorrow. Feel sorry for Sara more. According to her, it's impossible for her to get something unique for the boyfriend that has everything. Happy twats all around.
1 comment:
STOP TALKING ABOUT PARIS HILTON!!! The news reports it because it's what people like you talk about! If you really can't stand the story as much as me or the next person, why mention it at all?
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