Uncensored version: "This is what happens when you fuck a stranger in the ass!"
Censored version: "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps and feed him scrambled eggs!"
Censored version: "This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps and feed him scrambled eggs!"
Don't you just love the justification of censorship? That line is from The Big Lebowski, a movie that I just so happen to see as a classic with more quotes than even I can handle. This all came to mind when I found a leaflet on my car of a bible page. Hilighted was John 3:16. No, I didn't give a fuck and threw this piece of paper to the ground. If I had a lighter, it would have been burned.
I'm now jealous of my dad. The reason I had to come home on that Tuesday was because of my dad's surgery. I know. It seems like everyone is having surgery these days when it comes to this family. Hell, I'm just waiting on my turn even if I'm lucky the only surgery I've ever had was to pull 4 teeth. As for the jealousy, the surgery was on my dad's right eye. That would explain the eye patch being worn for only a day. The cool thing? My dad says he no longer needs his contacts. Whoa!
If there is one thing I hate more than my allergy issues, it's the fact that summer brings irritating contacts. You are so lucky if you were born with perfect eyes, kiddo. Each morning, I have to take out my soft contact lenses from the case full of Renu cleaning solution. If I'm lucky, there is no irritation on first placing of the lens on my right eye, alway the problem area. My left has no issues and I barely feel the lens. The worst of it all is wind's bringing all sorts of things at my face when I'm outside. Be it, pollen or cat allergies, I'm winking a lot with my right eye.
If you've been living in a cave lately, you may have not heard how so many people are upset with the Sopranos finale that aired recently. Many people, myself included, were dying to know what happens to our favorite characters, namely Tony Soprano himself. Death? Feds? Will he kill Phil, a man that seemingly is a guy so deserving of death that it's poetic for his wife to watch? Yes, people take their characters seriously, especially after 6.5 seasons. Ya gotta remember that the show started in 1999 and hooked a lot of people for a good reasons. I love bad guys.
*Spoiler*: Tony Soprano was killed. The reason people were so confused was because the screen went blank at a very crucial point. I thought the power went out and found myself angry that it had to be at that exact moment. Tony was killed at this exact point because of an earlier discussion with another character, Bobby. He asked what happens when we die and all the two could come up with was that everything goes black. Nothing more. The man at the counter acting all suspicious and with an eye on Tony was Phil Leotardo's nephew (introduced way back). After he came back out of the restroom, he killed Tony from behind *hence the TV screen going black.* All this reminds me of how there were moments in books where I just didn't get it and needed someone to tell me a few things. "The Bell Jar" rings a bell because not everything an author puts in front of you is so obvious. I needed a little help from some old Cliff Notes a few times.
What kind of irritates me about people complaining about the Soprano ending is that they didn't seem to try and think. What about the guy looking all suspicious? What about the 2 black guys (They shot at Tony in an earlier episode only to get his ear) that were focused upon as they entered the diner? Instead of thinking, people were expecting to be fed instant information. Is there anything so wrong with telling people so obsessed with TV to try and figure out why things went along as they did? I'll admit to not being happy with the Sopranos ending until I sat and stewed about it. Come up with a solution for yourself and talk to others about what you just saw.
Other than that, I've just finished an oddly surreal graphic novel called Mouse Guard. Would you believe that mice just might be having more fun or a life of epic danger than you realize? Basically, if you find Mouse Guard, it first brings you back to old children's tales, especially with the artwork's appearance. For me, that's what I enjoyed along with this violent story of how various clans of mice try and work together to stay alive. You better believe all tales such as these have a good guy and a bad guy trying to stir up trouble. Not for the wee kiddies because I hate to think of that brave mouse being torn apart by those crabs. You can get this graphic novel at Barnes or any bookstore.
Other than that, I do have to say that 'Penthouse' has an amusing article on the female orgasm. While I disagree with its theory that the more orgasms a woman has, the more likely she'll cheat, it did have a few insights from scientists. It's just too bad that 30% of women will never experience life's little free joy to owning a body but I blame that on the women themselves. If you take into account the complications of the female body or how so many women are hung up on body image, it's no wonder they can't relax and cum. Remember the girl that popped my cherry? Kristen told me that she knew so many women that couldn't orgasm but only fucked to suit their boyfriends' needs.
What fascinates me about the female orgasm is the 'suckup' effect. Yes, it's a true word to describe this little event where the vagina is basically trying to force more semen into it. Pregnancy is more likely during an orgasm. Yes, I've felt this many, many times and enjoy having the head of my cock feeling like it's being pulled away from me by an unseen force. We'll discuss female orgasms later since there is a horror flick on. Nothing beats cleaning up my room than watching a horror flick at the same time, especially a B-grade one like Strangeland.
So, I'm outta here after a day spent watching my dog, 5-Pound Phooey, try to start another fight with her enemy. I've got to come up with a nice little title for this small dog that has challenged her to a fight. 'Tater' comes to mind. Happy twats all around.
I'm now jealous of my dad. The reason I had to come home on that Tuesday was because of my dad's surgery. I know. It seems like everyone is having surgery these days when it comes to this family. Hell, I'm just waiting on my turn even if I'm lucky the only surgery I've ever had was to pull 4 teeth. As for the jealousy, the surgery was on my dad's right eye. That would explain the eye patch being worn for only a day. The cool thing? My dad says he no longer needs his contacts. Whoa!
If there is one thing I hate more than my allergy issues, it's the fact that summer brings irritating contacts. You are so lucky if you were born with perfect eyes, kiddo. Each morning, I have to take out my soft contact lenses from the case full of Renu cleaning solution. If I'm lucky, there is no irritation on first placing of the lens on my right eye, alway the problem area. My left has no issues and I barely feel the lens. The worst of it all is wind's bringing all sorts of things at my face when I'm outside. Be it, pollen or cat allergies, I'm winking a lot with my right eye.
If you've been living in a cave lately, you may have not heard how so many people are upset with the Sopranos finale that aired recently. Many people, myself included, were dying to know what happens to our favorite characters, namely Tony Soprano himself. Death? Feds? Will he kill Phil, a man that seemingly is a guy so deserving of death that it's poetic for his wife to watch? Yes, people take their characters seriously, especially after 6.5 seasons. Ya gotta remember that the show started in 1999 and hooked a lot of people for a good reasons. I love bad guys.
*Spoiler*: Tony Soprano was killed. The reason people were so confused was because the screen went blank at a very crucial point. I thought the power went out and found myself angry that it had to be at that exact moment. Tony was killed at this exact point because of an earlier discussion with another character, Bobby. He asked what happens when we die and all the two could come up with was that everything goes black. Nothing more. The man at the counter acting all suspicious and with an eye on Tony was Phil Leotardo's nephew (introduced way back). After he came back out of the restroom, he killed Tony from behind *hence the TV screen going black.* All this reminds me of how there were moments in books where I just didn't get it and needed someone to tell me a few things. "The Bell Jar" rings a bell because not everything an author puts in front of you is so obvious. I needed a little help from some old Cliff Notes a few times.
What kind of irritates me about people complaining about the Soprano ending is that they didn't seem to try and think. What about the guy looking all suspicious? What about the 2 black guys (They shot at Tony in an earlier episode only to get his ear) that were focused upon as they entered the diner? Instead of thinking, people were expecting to be fed instant information. Is there anything so wrong with telling people so obsessed with TV to try and figure out why things went along as they did? I'll admit to not being happy with the Sopranos ending until I sat and stewed about it. Come up with a solution for yourself and talk to others about what you just saw.
Other than that, I've just finished an oddly surreal graphic novel called Mouse Guard. Would you believe that mice just might be having more fun or a life of epic danger than you realize? Basically, if you find Mouse Guard, it first brings you back to old children's tales, especially with the artwork's appearance. For me, that's what I enjoyed along with this violent story of how various clans of mice try and work together to stay alive. You better believe all tales such as these have a good guy and a bad guy trying to stir up trouble. Not for the wee kiddies because I hate to think of that brave mouse being torn apart by those crabs. You can get this graphic novel at Barnes or any bookstore.
Other than that, I do have to say that 'Penthouse' has an amusing article on the female orgasm. While I disagree with its theory that the more orgasms a woman has, the more likely she'll cheat, it did have a few insights from scientists. It's just too bad that 30% of women will never experience life's little free joy to owning a body but I blame that on the women themselves. If you take into account the complications of the female body or how so many women are hung up on body image, it's no wonder they can't relax and cum. Remember the girl that popped my cherry? Kristen told me that she knew so many women that couldn't orgasm but only fucked to suit their boyfriends' needs.
What fascinates me about the female orgasm is the 'suckup' effect. Yes, it's a true word to describe this little event where the vagina is basically trying to force more semen into it. Pregnancy is more likely during an orgasm. Yes, I've felt this many, many times and enjoy having the head of my cock feeling like it's being pulled away from me by an unseen force. We'll discuss female orgasms later since there is a horror flick on. Nothing beats cleaning up my room than watching a horror flick at the same time, especially a B-grade one like Strangeland.
So, I'm outta here after a day spent watching my dog, 5-Pound Phooey, try to start another fight with her enemy. I've got to come up with a nice little title for this small dog that has challenged her to a fight. 'Tater' comes to mind. Happy twats all around.
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