The scene: Sara and Michael are sitting out on the patio area in front of Sara's apartment while drinking a Miller Lite. She has now pointed out that the mystery cat is pooping in front of the two of them.
Michael: "I don't know how you women deal with 3 holes 'down there.'
Sara: "Well, I don't know how you men deal with 2 holes."
Michael: "Actually, we don't realize we have 2 holes until after a large Mexican dinner and the other is really just a seemingly useless tube."
Yes, I am back and that above is an actual conversation. Blame it on weirdness or our insane need to talk about things people really shouldn't find in a conversation. Life aint all wine and roses so bugger off if not founded.
7 days. Good grief, I didn't think I'd be in Indiana for that long. July 4th or 5th was my day out of there so why? It could be that the girl is in love with me and wishes me to stay a bit longer. A big bed with fancy sheets just isn't the same without the start of the morning to laugh at the lad's usual morning stiffy. At least, I am no longer prone to waving it all about before taking off down the hall to pee. Sara just loves looking at penises and it's always a done deal when showering with her.
Not much fazes me but I can now chalk up something new when it comes to a guy saying something to me. "I want to lick your ass." Sara's bi-sexual best friend sure as hell knows how to distract me during a card game. I had to fend off many advances when it comes to a very competitive game of Phase-10. See? Ultrarooster is sexy to everyone and willing to bring the goofiness as well. Try to picture a weird guy with blue eyes that plays a game of quiet charades to tell that it takes a wheelbarrow to carry his massive balls everywhere he goes. All of Sara's friends know about the size of my balls. All of them.
But I liked staying in Indiana for the 7 days. I may have spent a lot of time asleep due to allergies but it wasn't for naught. What helped was getting away from the cat and off to Sara's friends' recently rented house to help paint/yard work. I'm sure she realizes that there are times I'd like to be away from women for a little while. Waking up with a massive schlong that was just giggled at and heading into a bathroom full of feminine supplies gets a bit tiring after 3 or 4 days. I always have to know who's on her period and know when an emergency 'trimming' took place.
I must admit that I was embarassed when Sara's mom came while I was sleeping. That was today. Let's just say that it was noon, I was completely naked and passed out with the cat at my side, and Sara ordering me up. How fazed was I? Let's just say that my sentences were pretty much garble and I had to be yelled at to get up. Me, my hair a mess, walked into the kitchen to see Sara's mom trying to coax the cat to her. Laziness is not one of my traits so I felt weird about how I have to sleep so much just to function. Cat allergies suck. Waking up naked knowing a mom is nearby is far worse.
A sign of the times or just America at its best? While we went to the Fourth Of July festivities, I couldn't help but notice the lines for the food vendors. A long line of lardasses were for the elephant ears but a short line of skinny people were waiting for lemon shake-ups. It was much worse when the parents took Sara out to eat for her birthday dinner at a Mexican place. We couldn't help noticing the large little girl sitting down outside while her mother walked up to her from the car. It was gross. It was beyond gross and goes into child abuse to allow a kid to get that fat so early. I forgot what the rate of lardos to skinny people is but I can tell it's high. There are just too many fat people out there these days. The worst was at Steak N Shake when 2 women wearing much too small tank tops walked in. Bellies out. Train wreck that I could look away from.
I smiled when Sara said I can be snobbish at times. I'm picky about who I wish to talk to. Sure, at work, that's not something I get to enjoy but I'm for the smart/entertaining/personality people.
Some people have a hard time talking to a significant other's parents but not me. Nosirree. I'm out on the backyard patio talking to Sara's dad about a bullet's destination during a 1,700 yard shot being from above. He's the type of guy that reads the books for which movies come from. The example would be Mark Wahlber's Shooter, a great flick, comes from a favorite novel, 'Point Of Impact. It's basically the first of 3 where the character, Lee Swagger, brings his own form of justice to bad politicians, etc. There was some talk of politics (Libby's partial pardon and my state's idiotic governor) but otherwise nice guy talk. It's so easy to talk about anything. It's also no wonder Sara's mom wanted me to come over on her days off. I can do girl-talk, too, and, yes, I know what a Coach purse is.
So, I'm outta here as I've got lots more to talk about. My cat is doing just fine in Indiana. That boney-look is gone. There's a little bit of belly as it waits for me to feed it each early morning after I dropped Sara off at work. Once that was done, I'd pass out in bed til around noon and then head off to paint a house. But how many of you can tell me that a simple noise from your mouth could make a little mystery animal run from across the street to curl up next to you? If it's not the girls working in Home Depot showing me attention, it's the furry felines. Happy twats all around.
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