Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Missed By A Mile

"Swearing is big and clever."

-t-shirt slogan

Transformers. What the fuck can I say about this movie? I'm only 1 hour in of the 2 hours supposedly guaranteed to knock my fucking socks off yet I'm still not sure. Socks are still on.

How would you feel if someone took your favorite characters and made major changes to them. The look? All gone! The attitude that made him/her so interesting? Off like a wedding dress! While I must admit that the movie itself, Transformers, is kind of entertaining. They got the transforming part right but they made it too much of a little boy-like movie. Yeah, I know that you're going to tell me that that's the whole purpose since many of us were wee lads in the 80's. It's just that the female scientists are supermodel beautiful, the geeky boy will always win over the gorgeous princess no matter how dumb she is, our leaders are confused over the smallest things, and everyone looks good no matter how dirty they get. Sara does say that she loves it when I get sweaty. Maybe it's my pores that can ooze sex appeal while my eyes disarm even a scorpion's desire to sting.

Since I'm only an hour in, I cannot base a review on Transformers just yet. Tis a pity to find that there are people so damn in need to ruin old things we once grew up on. G.I.Joe and the Smurfs are next. They so will not ruin my favorite blue people or I'm just gonna have to hold a picket sign with some really, really mean words like the "C" one and a couple "B's" that will kill the jolly feeling those Smurfs once brought me.

Richard's back in town. Or mainly, I should say that I came back from Indiana to finally be able to see my favorite incubating male friend. No Sting autograph because he didn't get to meet the dude. However, you should have seen Richard's eyes light up over someone else. His words:

"I met Beyonce!"

I hate her and her music so I just wasn't impressed with this. Amused I was with how this guy talked on and on about how beautiful Beyonce is. A lot of makeup, yo. Some guys just love a woman caked in makeup. For me, it's eyeshadow but that's for another tale. Fat white guy finds that there is a black woman out there that can bring him to the yard thanks to her milkshake. Yes, Jay-Z was there as well. Ugly man needs to be seen as pretty thanks to this piece of trophy.

As for me, it's all about my keeping tabs on caterpillars. Since 5-Pound Phooey and I always pass by the nets used in the garden, this is an easy task. They're kept in a section with nets so that the rest of the garden can be safe from caterpillars' munching. You can't help but notice these things eat a lot because there is a lot of caterpillar poop collected in the net.

July 17th is when you'll find me jumping up on down thanks to Garbage finally releasing all their music videos on DVD. "Only Happy When It Rains" is very special to me. It makes me feel that there is hope, once again, that there are women that will realize what stage presence is. Shirley Manson of Garbage had that and more. She could take a chainsaw up my crotch and I'd just cry because it's Shirley fucking Manson.

I'm tempted to do my Vagina Entry here on Blogger. Gawd, I kind of miss the feeling of lust while writing about something that should be done every year. On my old blog, I would tell all that I saw as being so great about the vagina/beaver/cunt/cooze/pussy/pink taco or whatever your boyfriends call it while fucking you. I just like telling Sara to cum all over my cock when I'm in her since I get all hot thinking about that feeling of making her wetter. Why is this world so afraid to say that pussy needs to be celebrated?

So, I'm outta here as I feel weirdly behind. Another one of my friends from the gym got engaged. Joe. Remember him? Some of you voiced a little hatred for the way he saw things in dating even though he was faithful. Just over a year of dating the Italian girl and a trip down the aisle will take place. Do you wanna know how many times I'm asked if I've got the ring? A lot. A fucking lot! The way I see it is that I'm still outside doing naked cartwheels in the sprinkler because I'm not ready to come inside to put my pants on. Happy twats all around.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

heLLO. were you ever planning to tell me you had a new home?? i only found you by accident through my site tracker, silly boy!

so how the hell have ya been? looks like i've got lots of catching up to do.

i'm going to try to be better about updating now that i've got a month of not much to do!

love, G

Samantha Duncan said...

Actually, the one thing I've heard over and over about Beyonce is how naturally beautiful she is (i.e. without makeup).

Married people don't always wear pants either, you know...