Sunday, July 15, 2007

Welcome To the Wild Side

"Motorin'! What's your price for flight?"

-"Sister Christian" by Night Ranger

I'm a little confused. I don't really care about the possible upcoming road trip now. Is this how I should feel after hearing that Sara had another seizure on Wednesday? My girlfriend is broken and needs to be fixed.

Yeah, today was a little odd after finding out that Sara has had another busy week after the latest seizure. Ironically, it was while waiting for the MRI. She told me that she was just sitting there watching the news in the waiting room and was out. Woke up with needles, etc. How the fuck do you react to all that? Man, I don't even want to go on this road trip if Sara's not well. How can you enjoy something when you're worried all the time?

I'm not really in the greatest of moods. No matter what, I am going to Indiana this weekend. That's been planned from the start while the Oak Park thing was only a possibility months ago. I'm not quite sure if I'm up for all this excitement over the Harry Potter book. To put it nicely, I just want to read the damn thing and not have screaming kids all around me that I keep trying to control my need to trip them as they run by. It's a good thing Sara hates them as well.

So, do you see why I'm a bit depressed? Sara's broken and I don't know what to do. Her mother hinted to me that the coffee addiction is a bad one. Oh, I can attest to that! I've had to visit a coffee shop everyday while in Indiana. This addiction is pretty extreme as I have to receive kisses with her raging coffee breath.

My only good news, at least for me, is that Bob Guccione (Penthouse) is giving his movie, Caligula, the special edition treatment for the DVD. That makes me smile because there is nothing better than cleaning the print of a movie that shows the life of an insane ruler that makes Bush look sane. Orgies! Man marries horse! Ruler tests out each wedding by putting hand up bride's ass! Semen is squirted in chalices for the brothel's female owner to drink. Midgets are grabbed, tackled, and have their little penises sucked on by various women. Caught fucking up the ruler's life? Your dick must be cut off and ladies are ordered to urinate on you. Spy on women eating each other out! Watch women wipe their wet pussies on your clothing! Torture? Behead them or make them sit on spikes!

I dunno. Caligula is just one of those insane dark movies that I never quite got out of my head. Mind you, this was smuggled out of a foreign country by Bob when he thought the director used too many fat chicks. Seriously, the history of Caligula is as funny as it gets. Bob felt that he needed to add his Penthouse Pets in order to sex it up more. Soon, the director gets pissed off about the missing movie and then being told that his girls with big bottoms weren't enough. Tinto Brass, a man I've discussed before, has a MAJOR fixation on women's bottoms, the bigger the better and to finger.

I've still got my copy of Caligula here at home. Yes, I know it sounds weird to want another copy but the original shows a bit of age. A spruced up widescreen transfer is so needed all while I am dying to listen to the other parts of the movie's controversy. McDowell and Peter O' Toole were upset with the added pornographic parts when it was supposed to be a much cleaner film. Yes, it was extremely graphic in various shots of pussy fluids, semen, urination, and torture. Life in Rome was that bad as I can attest to telling you that one of the best places people could get together was the bathrooms. Everyone lined up to poop together and discuss politics. Since there was no piping system to get rid of the sewage, people of Rome had extremely dirty water. Wine was pretty much drunk all day. Drunk by noon is reality and farts were pretty much acceptable as a critique.

I think Caligula is one of the most insane emperors ever because I've heard his story thousands of times. There were a lot of orgies. His army fell apart because he decided to just have them fight nude at one point. Isn't it scary to have a bunch of well-armed naked guys come at you? Okay, maybe you'll be smiling more at the various penises flying to a fro. That reminds me about another thing Bob did. He wanted really well-endowed men to be used for the sex scenes. A poll said that 70% of the people going to see Caligula were women. Does that mean anything?

It's funny because I had my roommates in college watch Caligula. The looks on their faces said it all. Freaked? Grossed out? Weirded out? Aroused? Everything you can imagine. Since one of my roommates was (and still is) a virgin, I wonder just how freaked out he was.

So, I'm outta here as I try and put my mind at ease over my worries about Sara. Just what do you do? The caring part is there but I want her to get better and to slow down. Sara doesn't exactly relax as much as she should because coffee makes her so jittery at times. I'm nervous and don't which day to go, Thursday or Friday. Happy twats all around.



1 comment:

Samantha Duncan said...

Go NOW. What's stopping you? Isn't that the perk of unemployment? You can get up and leave whenever (well, I'm certainly looking forward to it for the next two weeks, lol). Long distance relationships are really put to the test when things like this happen, so you just have to work hard and do everything you can.

I hope they can figure out what's causing the seizures. It must be fucking scary. She's in my thoughts.