I'll Be Your Grendel

"The poison-breath of that foul worm first came forth from the cave, hot reek-of-fight; the rocks resounded.........stoutly stood with his shield high-raised the warrior king, as the worm now coiled together amain: the mailed-one waited now, spire by spire, fast sped and glided that blazing serpent."

-Beowulf

How's that for a personal omen? After years of putting off reading 'Beowulf,' it's finally hitting me hard that it'll be released as a movie in theaters come this November. Fuck! I tried to get myself to read it, at least more than the portion required of us in Catholic school. You know me. There is much love in old warrior stories about overcoming great odds, serpents, dragons, and demons. Wonder if I lived in such fantastic times that I'd make a great impression of helping to rid the world of such evil. Who am I kidding? The sight of a naked goddess would force me to have a boner as big as a whale only to be killed from behind as I fuck her hard doggy style.

Seen the theatrical trailer to Beowulf? I've only recently had the time to thanks to Youtube. A very naked CGI Angelina Jolie rises from a cave's pond to start trouble. Why, she's Grendel's mother, a total temptress and evil goddess that can get a rise out of our hero, Beowulf. Never underestimate the power of pussy, be it white, black, or brown.

Talked to an Asian friend of mine in a sneaker store. Too bad, I can't hear him as well thanks to the after effects of this cold. While I can breathe, finally, my hearing has gone thanks to my head's congestion. Snot builds its way up, is shot out, and then leaves me with annoyed ears. The story of my life and how lucky I am only to be foiled by boogers.

How tough is your dog? Mine wipes her ass on the sidewalk. 5-Pound Phooey doesn't care if there are speed bumps or a scratchy surface. The shit's gotta come off.

Walking 5-Pound Phooey does have its occasional rewards. For once, she was less assertive in being seen as dominant when 2 dogs walked by. The surprising thing is that she allowed the 2 to sniff her as they quietly introduced themselves. Weird. I've rarely ever come across other dogs that 5-Pound Phooey would be nice to. Be it, German shepards, golden retrievers, bull-dogs, or any sort of dog, she'll go into her dominant stance and bark til she feels ready to walk off feeling tougher. It could have been the sweaters that the 2 dogs were wearing. Jealousy over dominance, in this case.

The other reward was a free CD someone had left underneath a tree. At first, I thought it was porn since the woman on the label side looked extremely hot in a sultry pose. Nope, just a CD by a girl calling herself Vanity Tweak. Know her? I'm so behind in what kids listen to these days that I know nothing about this girl's CD sampler. Nice looking, though. I'll give it a listen someday. Would have given the porn to Bald-O because all single guys need help at getting off during the beginning of winter.

As promised, the camera has been bought, a Canon A570 from Best Buy. It got high ratings and is good for beginners. Good thing. It took me longer than 5 minutes just to figure out how to get the batteries and memory card in plus shutting it. Tomorrow, I do the most thrilling thing ever, turning it on. Whoo! Am I going to need more memory or anything to add on?

My dad thought I was crazy for buying a digital camera when he barely uses his. Loved the Sony Cybershot and all that but I wanted my own. Things don't feel personal to me unless I obtained it myself. The same goes for getting all new sheets, bedspread, and pillows for my bed.

That's pretty much it. I'm only now beginning to be able to breathe and not be forced to travel with my faithful sidekick, Kleenex Box. That'll explain why I woke up so late. The body needs to catch up on sleep and it's my stupidity that doesn't allow it. Go to work and hit the gym hard is what I do best. Sometimes, I think that's where a woman comes in, someone to order me to rest instead of running myself ragged because I enjoy my muscles' screaming for me to stop.

That's where satellite TV comes in at night. Starz is showing Apocalypto and another channel had a foreign movie called Lila Says. One is about an Indian's escape from evil Mayans while the other has a blonde teenage temptress that brings out a shy boy by giving him a handjob as he rides a bicycle. Can you guess which is which? Apocalypto has a really nice long chase scene and drove me to want more and more. Evil and being chased by a black jaguar can make a man run faster.

Never thought I'd find a foreign movie about the teenage life of a Muslim's temptations as interesting. The blonde girl was so sultry in her need to just ask the shy guy whether he wanted to see her pussy. Funny. She sat on the swing and, as she went up and down, opened her legs. Wow. Someone knows how to tempt the type of guy that doesn't know what his dick is for, especially when she knows how to jerk him off while riding on a bike with him. I doubt Beowulf would be able to hold out for longer than 2 minutes with this girl.

I'd like to be Keira Knightley's bicycle seat for a couple years.

So, I'm outta here as I let it be known that this will be my first night where I am able to sleep soundly. I'm gonna need it because my own little temptress of a girlfriend, Sara, will order much fucking. I laugh when I read about women discussing how 1 to 3 orgasms is a lot. According to Sara, it's at least 6 or it's just not worth doing. Now you know why I'm tired and find myself breathing hard as I lay on my back. Don't tell me you're still into that silly lovemaking shit. Happy twats all around.