Life As Snotty

"I'm not interested in provoking people, but only in trying to be consoling. I always think of the things I do, unambiguously, as truly living vehicles."

-Martin Keppenberger

In my world, there are no off-days. Ever. Wake up with the nose completely full of snot? It's just another hill to climb for that day. The dog must be walked. Work must be done. The gym must be visited. And though must always pee standing up or the male population will laugh at me no matter how tired I am from another completed day. Sometimes, although rare, I envy girls.

My kingdom for a clear nose! It just might begin tomorrow, seeing as I've been feeling like there is less snot to shoot out with amazing precision. Just how much do we have up there because I always joke around that I'm leaking brain fluid. My best friend is a kleenex box I bring everywhere and even rides shotgun in the car with me on errands. Those that walk by must think I'm someone that has to immediately jerk off during runs to Walgreens and Barnes & Noble. As if the sight of old gals picking up 10 prescriptions and the latest cover to 'Penthouse' is going to do that.

But I'm here and feeling like I should go to bed much earlier tonight. I feel as if my discussion on boogers and peeing like a racehorse is annoying. Well, I don't blame you. Who knows. Maybe those that have a secret crush on me find me at a new point, human enough to realize that he just might drool on his pillow. Others pretty much know me from my old blog and will tell you that I will talk about anything and everything. Sara will just blurt out that I'm mildly retarded and proud.

I'm going to be gone next week. Sara and I were supposed to fly to New York for a visit to her best friend. Money issues come up and it's a new plan. We'll be going to Chicago for a couple days of seeing museums and hopefully Nike Town, where all sneaker addicts go. Ever been? Chicago is nice, expensive, but nice. The pizza is to die for and a walk down Michigan Avenue will make you wish you had more money. Personally, I liked the weirdness of the Water Tower, home to many upscale stores and bookstores.

I don't know. It's gonna be kind of weird because I'll be spending a whole week with Sara, 2 days in another city and the rest in Indiana. Sex has to be had in the hotel room so there might be 'spots' on the wall. With the size of these balls, I can be such a messy boy. Friday or Saturday will find us at the Wolf Park again so we can do the howling with everyone. Yes, I will have my digital camera to capture better and clearer pictures.

While I was in the gym, a guy I've run into from time to time was next to me while I worked on biceps. We always discuss books. Always. The man is an addict that has read just about everything from 'Atlas Shrugged' to 'War And Peace.' Ask him anything and he'll impress you with what he has to say on any character.

But did he know Harry Potter's Albus Dumbledore was gay? Yes, and that shocked me. Sara, with her ability to know if someone is gay did not. Of course, with my pathetic gaydar, I had no clue and only thought of Albus as being very competitive with this wizard he was in love with. Wow. Aren't all wizards a little on the.......'iffy side?' Purple robes with moons do make you wonder if "It's Raining Men" is a song that causes the guy's eyes to light up. We all know that Paula Abdul's "Forever Your Girl" CD makes you wonder about me.

Note: I'm all male that just so happens to have gotten in touch with his feminine side, yo. There may be a time where the Lionel Richie song, "Say You, Say Me" comes on and I look into Bald-O's eyes and say those words. It's the Natural Light beer. All men are gay after 10 beers but we're not wizards. There is much power in pussy because, once you're in it, there is no way you want to pull out of it.

So, I'll be here til Tuesday since I want to take 1 day off of my week off of work. Strange to say that I like the challenge at work. Must be my love of punishment. Plus, Sara doesn't feel as if I'd want to be around her during her period. No big issue with me because I did earn my 'red wings' a little over a month ago. There was no squeamishness when I realized my cock was a bit red so I'm a big boy now. I must say that it does feel different in there during that time of the month. I've no fear of tampons cuz tampons just don't get to me. Happy twats all around.