Take Me Back Again

"Avoid being vulgar. Excitable bouts of wind breaking will not endear you to a girl, just to pick one example."

-'The Dangerous Book For Boys' by Goun Igguldon

Today, I was a boy! Oh, the memories of killing time after Barnes & Noble by going to Toys R Us was quite a memorable one. Sunday's are usually lazy days in some ways so I found myself extra excited when I found G.I.Joe figurines that were reproduced to look very similar to the ones I had as a kid. Well, not all get to me. Only my favorite characters, the ninjas, Snake-Eyes and Storm Shadow had me going way back to the days where we'd be at toy stores looking all over for these rare characters. Back then, it was nearly impossible to get the ninjas unless a stocker happened to put them up minutes ago. Ninjas! I can die happy now!

Yeah, I know. You don't get it and that's understandable. It's just that my days of playing with toys like G.I.Joes was such an event. First, I had to get to the store by ordering Mum to swing by to check the shelves. Next, if I noticed new ones, I had to look to see if the ninjas were hidden by some other sneaky kid. And, finally, there was the actual event of handing over a large portion of my allowance all so I could enter an imaginary world where people with swords could work things out better than a Muslim before VHS was invented.

Isn't that strange? A lot of the good stuff I find myself so entranced with is from long ago. Even my Smurfs love is something of legend where my college friends found it odd that I'd watch that cartoon over Springer. Maybe G.I.Joes and Transformers helped me find my imagination but keep me there permanently, something Sara finds fun in a boy that hasn't quite grown up.

Note: Storm Shadow is my favorite character of all time, mysterious and intimidating. I may reveal a lot here on Blogger but I'm still secretive. Plus, ninjas are cool.

Nervous about my trip to Chicago that may or may not take place. I'm sure it'll be fun since I love to explore new places. Nothing unique when it comes to shops can be found in this town. It's not exactly a toy store place that I keep seeing in other people's blogs but something that carries artwork and knick knacks that represent different sides is what I want. There are some truly creative people that can make toys I never dreamed possible.

After being looked up under a very odd spank material title ("Do women like their assholes licked?"), I decided to take it upon myself to see what relates in the old search engine. Somehow, I ended up on Amazon.com looking at various erotic photography books I never knew came out. We've got Barnes, Border's, and Walden but I've never seen anything like the stuff I found. You know me. I just love erotic photography when it's done right, candid and sensual all at once.

To answer the question, yes, women enjoy having their assholes licked but I've never done it. As a receiver of such an event, I can tell you that it feels very, very good thanks to the right amount of tongue pressure and saliva.

My favorites when it comes to erotic photos are hard to place. Here and there, I've seen some good ones from the guy that did the book "Happy Naked Girls." To make the girls feel more comfortable, he offered to take his clothes off as well. Maybe that's why the women are laughing so much instead of looking bored or annoyed. Missy Suicide of the Suicide Girls is okay but it's the various girls' personalities that sell it for me, namely Stormy and a few Indian girls.

Peter Gorman is a name I see come up quite often in various magazine discussing his nude photography. His books are what I'm going to look for while in the large bookstores in Chicago. Trust me. These places are very nice. You walk in and no one gets all freaked out over the fact that there are large black and white photos of breasts, penises, ass, and vaginas. I found out a friend of mine was gay when I walked over to find him obsessively looking at a large hardcover of naked guys. Again, I've had no gaydar since the beginning of puberty and will continue to never figure out whether a wizard's needs for Barbara Streisand albums is a peculiar thing.

Roy Stuart is one I cannot forget thanks to powerful images that sicken me but hold me. I'm not sure where this guy is based but I saw one of his books in our Border's. It could be that no one is brave enough to buy one, what with the cover being of a woman squatting down on the sidewalk with her legs spread to reveal transparent panties. Like I said. Powerful.

Just because I'm grossed out by various images taken by Roy Stuart doesn't mean I don't see them as demeaning. They're just too odd for my tastes. There are 2 sets that haunt me over and over again. One has a very muscular guy wearing tights. You'd swear he was gay but in the next set of pictures he's receiving a blowjob from a woman that's rubbed her pussy juices on him. In another, a very nicely dressed women walks the pebble stone streets of Rome, pulls up her short skirt, yanks her panties to the side, and pees. Unfortunately (or lucky) for her, she is caught and must give a blowjob to a guy in order for him not to tell. I'm surprised this book is still in our Border's because female urination shown so graphic is quite popular with men. Why the fuck do I constantly have these images in my head!?! Is Roy Stuart that fucking good after I've realized how bored I am with posed pictures?

Note: I do not find urination gross or anything. Erotic to me? No, but I enjoy it when the tables are turned on us guys. When I read that a lot of girls enjoy watching guys piss, I smiled. It's quite enticing to know girls are just as naughty as guys these days.

Why do I want Peter Gorman's latest books? His erotic photos, the ones where he uses the models' apartments, sounds like my thing. No boring studio, just a home where a girl's various things are thrown about. What music does she listen to? What does she read? How does she decorate her place? That's my kind of thing. I've always wondered if a girl being interviewed after posing nude really does like The Shins or The Killers. Is it a ploy to sound more hip? Hell, I consider it very daring to reveal what gets you more so than your fucking crotch.

Yeah, that's what "Happy Naked Girls" did for me. The guy took his pictures in the girls' apartments or houses. Loved how I was allowed to see how they designed their places. That's me, always wanting to know what gets to you.

Bored now. I was going to get into it about how I kind of hate the power that teenage boys are getting thanks to the 'Net. Alas, that will be for another time because I'm not sure if I got as much sleep as I needed or I just want to leave. Blogging gets boring when I don't know whether all these people read me as a joke or something else. Happy twats all around.