Ratatouille Is Good

"If you're pretty ignorant when it comes to history, ya know what? Thanksgiving isn't too bad."

-Me

Woke up this morning. Got myself a gun. No, actually, I didn't get myself a gun but I did grab a little dog and haul her little ass into my room. It's her sworn duty to look out the window and keep tabs on the neighborhood. The watch program generally begins at 9am but today I slept a little more than usual. Barking started around 10:15am.

I'm packing because the inevitable has arisen. I'll be on my way to Indiana tomorrow after work. All the shirts, undies, and pants are ready to go. Nudity is not an option when there is a very conservative (and annoying) roommate involved. Bare buns just don't happen because she is always there. Sara has told me that she's fine with me walking down the hall naked but I'm not doing it. The socks are staying on, too. And, yes, those need to be washed before I take off.

As for this weekend, there is bowling, a lot of bowling. Sara's mom signed her up for both types of league tournaments, singles and team. Ugh. That means I will have to watch various types of ladies and robots (what I call the ugly mean old ladies that toss the bowling ball in the same motion) do battle with each other. Some take this type of thing very seriously while others just sit and enjoy the smell of cigarette smoke all day. This also means I have to see ugly Christmas sweaters where bells hang in inappropriate places. If anyone walks around with mistletoe on their crotch, I will declare all old ladies to be fun perverts trying to bring back the bush.

As for me, today, I read a few short stories from a book I picked up long ago but forgot about. What is this? Suddenly, I go through Sara's 'homework' for me, a book on sexual fantasies for couples. Now, I'm humming through short werewolf stories where the dominant seems to always overtake the submissive female werewolf. Dishes shatter. Walls crack. Werewolves are just too damn strong with their testosterone neediness for sex. Of course, I get off on this stuff an helped Thanksgiving Day go by a bit faster.

I don't know about you but picking up various books I had been planning to read is kind of weird. It sends out some type of vibe that I must clean even more thoroughly than before. Let there be no dust on my shelves, lava lamps, or around the home theater equipment. Even 5-Pound Phooey thinks it weird that I'm all over the place with a Swiffer after sweeping up the leaves her little hairy butt brings to my room.

'On the Prowl' is alright, nothing special. I tend to like my werewolf books to have a little edge to them. Show me something new. No more of this thing were werewolves seem to suddenly know the perfect cuisine. You'd swear that when thinking of this type of thing there would be caribou torn apart in a wide open portion of land. Nope. 'On the Prowl' has them in Chicago where barely anyone can afford to look at the menu itself. To me, it'll always be best when the author has me feel like I'm running alongside a wolf on the hunt.

Not that today was all bland and avoiding the usual conversations at the dinner table. Ever heard of Pixar's Ratatouille? You've probably seen the ads where a cartoon-like chef is forced to cook for the elite in Paris only it's all done under the tutoring of a rat named Remy. Loved it! Loved it! Ratatouille had charm, wit, and fun where there were plenty of surprises not done in the usual fashion of cartoon movies. Yes, there was a message (rats are our friends and it was a flea that started the Bubonic Plague) but it was done so sweetly. Pixar has the ability to upstage Disney's usual crap by taking creative characters and making you feel for them. I liked them all, even the evil critic named Ego.

Somewhat hidden is the little knowledge about food. Don't eat garbage or let your body consume such shit. It'll become shit. McDonald's and all those fast food places might be nice once in a while but it's better to enjoy real cooked food. Sara and I have this in our heads, that even if it's a little more expensive, your body is worth taking care of instead of putting stuff that glows in the dark into it. I'm certainly not perfect because the best burger I've ever tasted had onion rings with barbecue sauce on top. It's that fucking good and only eaten once in a while. Fast food is for the idiots that can't clean up after themselves while their fucking kids scream as they urinate on themselves. Let the kids enjoy lead-filled toys and piss drenched bouncy balls so that they die off faster.

So, I am outta here as I am happy to not have the horror of reporting to work at 4:30am like I did 4 years in a row. Fuck that. No Black Friday for me either. Mine will take place next Friday as I get my bonus to wreck havoc in my bedroom. I'm spoiling myself rotten in bedding so I'll sleep better and think that I'm in Sara's expensive sheets all snug and warm. I'll bet you are picturing me naked right now with a little dog nipping at my nose to wake me up. Shows creativity but go smack yo' boyfriend's ass or something. Happy twats all around.