Lost Mind In Black Noodles

"She's a keeper."

-Mum (What she said to me after meeting her for the first time)

So, I've got to ask you a question. When your lover's parents are away in another state, do you raid the liquor cabinet? Fornicate on their bed? Walk around naked and play with each other's naughty parts? If not, you are as boring as Sara and I. We worked on a puzzle for 5 fucking hours while her laundry was being worked on. About the only debauchery was heavy petting with no exposed genitals and watching the E! Channel's Girls Next Door. Sara and I are old now.

So, I'm back. After driving home today, work was the longest it's ever been. Just this once, I was bored out of my skull while having a hard time keeping up with the pace. There was so much to do today thanks to being gone for a long time.

So, the big announcement is that Sara met my parents on Thursday. Not a big deal? Keep in mind that I've been with Sara for 2 years and almost 9 months with no meeting. It was inevitable. It was scary. It all happened with a decision in a diner.

Bringing someone that you are sleeping with to meet the parents is kind of odd. "Hello, this is the person that put her fingers in my ass.......oh, about...........3 hours ago while giving me an amazing blowjob that would have us arrested in southern states. Like her, Ma?" Sara was so nervous about meeting them that she kind of hid by staying near the door while I went to find my mum. All I had to do was say, "This is Sara." Everything else just righted itself up.

It's funny. Sara told me that my parents were nothing like she imagined. The whole meeting was laid-back and easy to get into. For one thing, she hugged both my parents and was then led into the living room where we all chatted. For me, I was not one bit nervous because my little dog, 5-Pound Phooey, kept entertaining us all with her antics. One must always pay attention to the power a little dog holds while discussing various things such as job and life. My dad was more interested in explaining various museums in Chicago and asking about this wolf park we went to on my last visit to Indiana.

The best part was Sara's being treated to an amazing dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant by me. I'm used to money. Sara is not. So, off we go as I show her what the elite in this town enjoy on a nice night. Normally, we go dutch every now and then but we are talking about some of the finest food to ever touch your tongue here, folks. Sara was mighty impressed as I told her to order anything she wanted. Her parents spoil us so I wanted to return the favor by letting her explore any option.

And explore she did! I've never ordered wine but there is always a first. People dressed very nice were all around us as amazing smells kept driving my hunger far worse. No rude kids. No smelly people that are too lazy to bathe. Just very spoiled people or first dates being impressed. Sara took interest in a couple about our age that looked quite nice. We were the type to take in a similar look by having wine, amazing black fettuccini (with lobster), a shrimp/chicken thing that was to die for, and ice cream that'll make a woman wet her expensive panties. Even the waiter was very nice so the feeling of tipping was well worth it. The guy even helped Sara decide when she couldn't figure out whether it should be shrimp or chicken. Why not both?

Why not spoil a girlfriend rotten? I enjoy showing Sara things she doesn't normally get to experience that I take for granted sometimes. I swear I have never ordered wine as I felt this whole thing getting more serious. Sara and I talk of the occasion where I will move to her town somewhere within 1 to 2 years. This is coming from 2 people that don't mind being committed (in a sense) but enjoy the space they are so used to. As much as I love sleeping with her next to me, I like to wake up alone here and there. It's not the whole fear of wondering whether I look like a fool when I scratch my butt while yawning. It's my independence enjoyed fully.

As for my mother, she loves Sara. I had no fear of them not hitting it off. It's more along the lines of wondering just how much she can deal with a very inquisitive mother that likes to talk. Yo, Mum can talk! There was her need to tell Sara about the days where I miss being able to eat chocolate, a list of things to show in this town, and whatever else comes out. You know the deal. It's almost like they have to bring out embarrassing past moments just to keep things going in discussions.

"Does he fart in front of you? Well, he did seem to enjoy that when he was younger."

So, I must get my butt on upstairs after all these weird memories are running through my head. We played the Nintendo Wii down here for hours, looked at bedding, and took my dog for a walk. Have I lost my fucking mind by not talking about filthy sexual desires all thanks to being domesticated by the woman-folk? Happy twats all around.