Songs In Key Of Sadness

"To those that wait in line for hours just to take in a store's special sale for that day and limited time, their so called 'strength in Jeezus' is really just a ploy to worship their true gods, Macy's, Circuit City, Best Buy, Mall, and Hustler."

-Me

I'm a bit depressed so bear with me on this one. It all started after a conversation with Sara in bed last night. It left me with questions here and there about us. While she said she's still happy with me, I can't help but wonder. "I don't deserve you" came up to start all this but ended a little too abrupt for my tastes. Just as well because it was late.

I can admit that I was taken aback by Sara's telling me she doesn't deserve me. In her words, I am perfect, perfect boyfriend material, I am assuming. This all happened after a small amount of tongue lashing on her part over something small. Sara did tell me she has a small amount of bi-polar within so who knows. I was too tired to care at that point and just lay on the bed while she dealt with a bill that suddenly came up and gave her major issues with the computer of hers.

Then again, it could be the weather, rainy icky weather. Getting up at 7:30am to find rain dripping down as I walked with Sara to drop her off at work. Mind you, I was supposed to be sleeping since I had a drive home and then on to work problem of my own. This was told to her in the bowling alley so I don't know if I'm forgotten easily or something else came up. Barely made it through work thanks to being so dreadfully tired all day. I always put Sara first so there are times I wonder when I.........oh, well.

That's a big issue, conversations that end a little too fast but not able to be dealt with til weeks later. Long story short. I'm not sure if I'm depressed over that or the various things around or above me. I hate you, too, for sitting there reading this and feeling like you've got better things to do than kick the can in the street with me.

Happiness can come in the form of materialism but only slightly. With my bonus on Friday, I am going to shop majorly for that last amount of bedding. I love it that work has afforded me even more things to take my mind off of my own issues. Girls aren't the only ones that love projects. Give me the chance to design a place that is important to me, my bed, and I'll be a happy motherfucker. The luxury of Sara's nice sheets and comforter gave me this idea. Who doesn't want to slumber away in something that helps sleep feel so much better?

So, this weekend? Not a very thrilling one. Sara and I were too busy thanks to the bowling tournament. 6 fucking hours in a bowling alley where women of various sizes (think Lane Bryant shoppers) pushed balls down lanes all in hopes of this being the exercise good enough to burn away those candy bars eaten previously. Some were cool, though, until you see what years of smoking can do to their skin. My vice? One cold beer as I tried not to think about how many people can fit in a pair of panties that the largest woman was wearing.

This time of year does bring out the monster in me. Peppermint ice cream is only sold at this time of year and, if you read my old blog, you know I am weak for it. Sitting in Sara's parents' downstairs while rooting on the Chicago Bears to win has me holding a bowl of the beloved stuff. I'm so sad and pathetic. I do not care.

So, I'll talk about more later. I really need to go to bed, seeing as this weather has me pretty damn down. You can tell because I haven't hit the gym since last Wednesday. I know. Pretty scary stuff, folks. What do I know. Nobody loves me anymore. Happy twats all around.