Even Zombies Eat Bush

"If your wife weighs more than your pickup, you might be a redneck."

-Jeff Foxworthy

Actually, this redneck joke came to mind this morning while walking 5-Pound Phooey. While waiting for her to sniff the 1 thousandth place that every dog seems to feel must be pee'd on, I noticed a car going quite slowly. A major part of me is cautious so I kept my eye on it as I continued on with a dog that found another place to sniff. This blue car was getting on my nerves because it was still behind me, but only a short distance that had me wanting to know real bad why.

So, I look to my right as this car is finally going to pass. It's a small blue one being driven by a gigantic lardass of a woman that I could swear was not much smaller than the car itself. The steering wheel was up her bosom of magnitude that chubby chasers would love to get their hands on but not I. How the fuck does a woman of that size drive with a body like that and steer with those large sausage-like fingers!?!

I'm not saying my neighborhood is unsafe. It's far from that as we've got quite a lot of business owners and people that pay other people to take care of the lawns or kids. I'm just overly cautious when people behave strange around me. Even the portly folks seem to be able to have me looking out the sides of my eyes in case they make a move. My, my I think I tend to get a little paranoid.

But no matter! I had a good day at work, nothing too tiring for once. There is the challenge but I had a few new things to keep my mind occupied and to say hi to the deaf guy. It's fun to know that he realizes that he has someone else to talk to now. Big smiles! Big smiles! Believe me, that is hard in a place that works yo' ass silly. 2 people in my orientation class quit showing up for work. Sad. I'm still in love with the challenge but could do without the bruises. You've got to look for fun somewhere.

Interesting. Sara sent me an email telling me how she loved my filthy one I sent her a short time ago. Nothing like getting a girl all wet before coming to visit. If you are a male reading this pathetic blog, learn to write. Better yet, get yourself a nymphomaniac for a girlfriend that needs hundreds of males to satisfy her sexual needs and then write her extremely dirty thoughts. Make the devil blush. Her soaked panties will be handed to you prior to her descending to her knees to unzip your pants before your cock ends up in her mouth. Isn't it fantastic to cum in a girl's mouth?

Right now, I'm watching 28 Days Later, the sequel to 28 Days After. You should brush up on your cult classics to know what movies I'm talking about. Picture London completely bare of people. Walk around Big Ben and not have to avoid bumping into tourists. Why? People, man, they're all gone. Or are they?

I've not seen 28 Days After, the first one deemed so scary that it puts all zombie films to shame. If I could find my DVD of it, yeah, I'll pop it on in. Basically, people are sort of dead thanks to a rage virus that started with a monkey biting someone in London. Eventually, it goes berserk by getting to everyone til there are only a few survivors left. Think you can outrun a zombie? How about if they have the abilities of track stars thanks to the virus? There is something extremely scary about people that run faster than you, old ladies, for example, that are about to tear your throat out.

The first 45-minutes of 28 Days Later have been pretty good. Not surprisingly, foreign films get it right on scaring people. Don't put in some stupid guy that provides the comic relief that isn't even funny. No, 28 Days Later is grim and doesn't let up because, oh boy, these people are fucked when those with the rage virus find 'em. The man that left his wife in the room with them had to. You'll see what I mean and why this plays into the story. Good stuff but don't go looking for anything funny.

Nothing really to report on friends even if Slutwatcher was a hoot to mess with last night. It's football season so I have to listen to him tell me how great the Dallas Cowboys are. Any day/night with his team means a lazy-boy with a six-pack o' beer. Wish I had that ability to lose my IQ points.

As for the porn that I finally got to finish last night, pretty boring. Then again, porn is pretty boring nowadays since it's all about gimmicks. I don't care how pretty you are. If your whole point in being filmed is your pretty ass being bent over while a guy shoves his dick up it, you've lost your ability to interest me. All the sex was straightforward and the same. Girls comes across older male. Somehow, a penis is loose! Girl barely over 20 decides to consume it or polish it wish saliva. Male disrobes girl and explores/licks her pussy. Fucking begins. Oh, please just get to the money shot! Please, please, please. Finally, he pulls out and comes all over her face.

How rude!

There was a savior that made the DVD worth buying. A documentary on the creator of this series was a lot of fun! Various porn stars got their starts here and it shows. Jenna Haze is almost unrecognizable. Belladonna, infamous for taking a baseball bat up her ass (not the handle, mind you) is much younger looking while being interviewed. I know I talk like I know porn stars but I've seen so many shows or interviews of these people talking so openly that I tend to kind of like some. None of that worry about what others think. If thousands in the world have seen you with your legs wide open, little things tend to not matter. It's too bad the creator of the series died 2 years ago because I see nothing worth keeping it around for more.

And the most horrible awful no good thing? Since these girls are quite young, it was no surprise that all had their pussies waxed completely. Ugh. No personality in crotches is what I'd say because each looked like camel hooves with pink kleenex shoved up there. Seen one, you've seen them all. Even the Thai/Indian's pussy was too similar to the white girls that dominated the show. This hairless obsession is going too far and making things too boring. In between the pink is nice for bare since it's easier to lick and eat. The front brings out the personality because I'm always curious as to how it's been trimmed.

I'm too tired to get excited over this. 28 Days After is awaiting me and ah needs my zombie chasing good times. It helps me sleep and not lay awake wondering just how Sara is going to pounce on me in bed. Funny how she's happy about me licking her more down there. I'm not sure if I'll be able to after work thanks to all the soreness I accumulate. Happy twats all around.