Soon To Be Perverted

"Fuck you, asshole."

-The Terminator (when housekeeping came by to clean, this is what The Terminator said with no emotion)

I'm tempted to make that quote mine. Each day, I find more and more people being complete idiots. Yes, there are a few people at work that piss me off well enough that I'd like to say "Fuck you, asshole." But it has to be done in a manner similar to the Terminator, absolutely no emotion. Just walk off after saying it. Will people get the hint that the world is not all about them? If only I could pick up their slow moving cars as well. Someone going 20mph in a 35mph zone is just asking for it.

How are you? Did you have a good day? Unless, you consider being bent over the kitchen sink a good one, then it was good. Well, you could have been bent over for different reasons, seeing as mine were not quite as obscene. My ears needed to be cleaned out drastically. There was so much earwax build-up that I'd swore I lost my hearing.

What ear cleaning involves, when it comes to home type cleaning, is something that looks like a turkey baster. Someone aims it directly into the ear and shoots warm water in order to break up the wax build-up. There's no pain but it does tend to tickle. Time's the only issue because it takes a lot of shots to break up a large mass of wax. What came out tonight was a huge brown/tan thingee that was absolutely disgusting (yet fascinating) that hung from the q-tip inserted. I couldn't stop looking at it and wondering just how the hell something like that can form such a mass. Anyway, all is well so far after drying out my ears.

Note: It is nice to have a dad that could have been a doctor. Too bad the computer took him away and made him a zombie to it.

Alright, I have been on a grot hunt. Confused? Well, I have been dying to get my hands on a new porno that contains a girl that looks a lot like Keira Knightley but with red hair. Actually, it's six slender girls going crazy in a house talking about their first times with guys (with scenes, of course because there has to be a penis somewhere). I only own 1 porno but I couldn't help it that I've been curious about a hour-long fun time had by a different sort of girls, small boobs and a small Asian/Indian. Big tits and ditziness just don't do it for me.

3 moments spent walking into a porn store. No DVD. I hate how porn works since it's not quite like regular DVD. With Blockbuster or a retailer, you can expect things out every Tuesday. Not quite with porn. There'll be 1 for sale, it'll be expensive, and you should consider yourself lucky to even get it. Sara's porn place in Indiana is way cooler while my only choices have very little to offer. You do get creepy small Mexicans, though.

The one thing I find so fascinating is that all our porn places are run by women. Me being me, I had to chat for a bit even if it does feel odd to be doing so while various boxes contained pictures of large black penises being sucked. Hell, one had cum dripping from it being licked up by a redhead. Black porn was having a sale, I guess. It helped that these female managers had pins containing this caption:

"Don't be afraid to ask me for help."

Oh, what joy it is to ask a woman for Pussy Bangers Number 17 or Deep In My Gash! How would I be able to control myself from the fits of laughter about to come out of me? It takes a little bit of the faze from hardcore images all around the store to wear off that, yes, somehow people can be unfazed by gyno images of the loveliest. A friend of Sara's that works at the porno store in her town told me that while sorting out a large stack of naughty stuff is fun for the first few days, it's taxing and dull soon enough.

"Penis, penis, penis. Vagina, vagina, VAGINA!"

I'm sure everyone that has worked at a porno store has loads of stories to tell you. Just ask. It's not my thing to chat that long because I just want to get what I want and leave. The only other thing to do is laugh at the titles. Did you know they just did a porn where it's a takeoff of The Brady Bunch? Interesting choice and possibility to ruin my memories of Jan and Marcia. Eating muff on shag carpet isn't quite as sexy as it sounds.

Other than that, I'm nursing a large bruise and annoying pain in my left bicep from work. A large stack of boxes fell on me a few days back but it was only yesterday that I noticed an very blue/red mark. The bicep issue happened right away but I've yet to let it heal. I'm the best with dealings in pain. Sara's bitten me, smacked me, slammed me against walls, and done other naughty things to me thanks to my newfound enjoyment in fast hard sex. Can you girls take a large cock inside you that seemingly never stops pounding you while being held down on the bed or couch? Are your cries about mercy or excess pleasure?

So, I must be off as I dare to think about what feistiness I have in my mind. My issues with alternative porn will have to wait. I've got to finish the DVD of 'Penthouse's' Caligula since I love to see images from the days of columns and togas. Richard, my gym buddy, wants to borrow it after I told him that it is one of the most disgusting and perverted films I've ever seen in my life. I'm not sure if even he can handle all the penises on display. According to man-law, the well-endowed tend to make guys feel inferior. No problem when it comes to your boy, Ultrarooster. Damn, I also hate it that I have to make an entry on my old blog to keep it alive. Happy twats all around.