I Value My Time And Balls

"You know what? If I were to ever believe in religion, which I don't, I'd say to all that wished to hear my views that Jeezus hung out with homosexuals, talked to prostitutes, and got stoned with black people. All in all, he had a big day after work. Why these 'values people' think that torture is right, bring about the largest amount of divorces, and bitch about homosexuality as the worst sin is beyond me. Relax. It's just your asshole that's gonna get a little sore while singing 'Dixie' during one of your fun times in the hotel while the wife's sound asleep."

-Me

Well, I hope y'all are having a nice Friday night after work or are just coming home from slushing through 8 to 9 hours. It's good to be home, right? So, why am I unsettled? I've always found Friday nights to be one where you go out to eat with a girlfriend, walk home, and fuck to burn some of the calories off. Tonight, I had a little dog growl at me that I must take her for a walk or I'll get a pile of shit in my sneakers. 1 out of 3 aint bad.

But really. Friday nights are hard. I like people and all that but it's the one night I know I don't have to bother getting up early and no appointments. Watch a flick after a long dinner where the food isn't greasy. Curl up in a ball underneath the throw and enjoy the warmth of his/her body. I don't get that because Sara and I can get a little too poop'd to visit each other.

While I enjoy work in some ways, it leaves me with a lot of adjusting the joints thanks to soreness. Love pain? Well, I get it but it takes time for me to soothe it out. A walk and then a long hot bath while reading US Weekly helped get some of those kinks out until I start to worry about Reece Witherspoon's run in with Jake Gyllenhaal at a movie premiere. Can't ex's ever get along? Will Matthew McHaugney ever put a shirt on? Vanessa's nude pics scandal can really hurt our children?

What I'm getting at is that I think relationships, the really good ones, are the ones where you can come home and tell your lover anything and everything. Each thing that no one understands tends to turn into giggles where everyone else looks at the two of you strangely. You can get some of that from a best friend but it's not quite the same when the person you sleep next to knows how bad your farts are upon deep slumber. Ask a boy. Ask any boy and they'll tell you that hearing his girlfriend loudly trumpet with her ass makes for a very major bonding experience.

Work was okay. I just wish they wouldn't waste 8 minutes on some kind of small pep rally for people that sold their bodies all for a piece of paper. While it is nice to know that a company makes it known that there is value in those that kill themselves so that an extra $1,000 happens, we weren't even allowed to clock in until AFTER the rally. It always weirds me out how so few people realize that their time should be seen as valuable as well. I come to work on time. I enjoy doing what I do and I do it well. I expect some consideration and to be paid on time. Don't you?

The best way to blow off steam is to use sign language, I guess. Since it's rare that I get a chance to talk to the deaf guy, I used it well by coming up and saying hi. People were surprised that I just ended up using sign language. Of course, I normally talk but there is something about putting old skills to use and, yes, once again, deaf people are so happy to find new people they can talk to.

I found out that the deaf guy has been teaching the girls some sign language. Why not? He has to work with them and some might even have to talk to him. I'm sure the dirty words are well-known but things go past that eventually. However, there are rules when it comes to this type of thing. Don't stare at deaf people signing. It's rude and like you are listening in on a private conversation. Introduce yourself if you wish to watch. Say "Hi, my name is....." by using a salute and then "my" and finger-spelling your name (learn the deaf alphabet for this). It's actually a lot of fun.

And, yes, sign language can be used for ill uses. Sara and I sometimes talks in this form when we don't want people close to us knowing what we are saying. The best example is when we went out to IHOP and got heated about the teenagers being shits to the waitress, a very nice waitress. Loved it when one of the teens caught on, gave me a dirty look, saw my thick veiny forearms, and thought twice about saying anything. It's no wonder Sara says she feels safe with me.

There's not much else to say. I'd love to get into Joe Francis's legal problems since VH1 devoted a whole half-hour to the king of Girls Gone Wild. Why this warrants big news I don't know but it's fun to see the wicked get a good spanking. It does amaze me how far things have come when it comes to women exposing themselves on video and the 'Net. I'm all for the usual tittie and vag shots but things have gone so much further that I don't think softcore will ever exist anymore. Is this good? Bad? Do you need another spanking because you just showed your tits again? Happy twats all around.