Slap Me, Not Stab Me

"Do not follow where the path may lead. Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."

-Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is law. Whenever you have to absolutely get someplace as fast as you can, someone will block you by getting in front of you at a speed that will slow you down considerably. Think about this. Say, for instance, you need to poop so bad that the sight of someone going 20mph in front of you has made you worried you will not get home in time. That was my day and I now hate old people that pause at every street crossing even if there is no stop sign.

Ah, but I am feeling old again. By this time, I'm worn down from work's issues and dealings each day. The bruises pile up and my feet make me wonder if I will ever walk without pain again. I may have mentioned in the past that there are times I feel as if I deserve all this for some payment as to whatever I owe life.

Pain does make me feel alive. There is that small issue I have where it is enjoyable to feel a girlfriend's hand directly smacking my ass whatever chance she gets to distract me. Be it, coming up with a clever annoying quote or making her lose her concentration, a girl has to let her boyfriend know that its time to pay the piper.

There really isn't much to say. I'm too tired to deal with all that I've read on George Bush's stupid remarks toward Congress. You'd swear I am turning over a new leaf because I'm not even touching Bill Cosby's visit to Oprah today. I know, I know. It was on at some point and I got curious when Cosby had things to say about how pathetic black people are when it comes to rearing their children or putting anything positive into their lives. Wish he'd come here because the latest criminal issues keep happening in the black neighborhoods where *gasps* another black person shot his gun off and nailed 3 people. You'd almost swear that this is a violent minority.

Yes, it is funny what working hard in Bush's making the middle class slaves to pay their ways can make them too tired to know what is really going on these days. The housing crisis!?! More foreclosures than ever? Is it because of so much debt or are people really trying to live like MTV's Cribs? Yo, I got to have a 12-person shower because Floyd Merrywheather made it seem cool.

As for me, I've done the work thing and somehow found myself in the gym hoisting a little more weight in the shoulder area. Am I getting stronger or am I just enjoying the fact that my body is rested on this piece of equipment where my dick just so happens to enjoy gravity's pull as nothing is there to press against it?

Richard, on the other hand, was there. About time! That fat fuck was hardly recognizable due to shaving off his goatee. The smile and sudden need to dance to older music that actually had a kick to it made himself well-known enough. If you are 50something years of age and listen to Zeppelin, The Clash, Sting, Van Halen, The Police, Journey, Clapton, Gabriel, you are a golden god, my friend. Don't ever let hemeroids and hurting knees bring you down as you shake your cellulite ass to 'Jump.'

But of course, knowing me brings special treats for people that look like I feel. Richard was curious about my DVD, Caligula, seeing as I told him it is one of the most disgusting films ever made about a man gone mad. In true Roman fashion, there were orgies and even the old fashioned sex. But why? When you're allowed to rule with no one to stop you but a possible murder, things tend to get a little bit weird enough to marry a horse.

Richard is single so anything kinky is up his alley. I sold him Caligula when I mentioned that there is female urination. Watching women pee! High-five! An orgy where massive dicks are sucked and cum drips out of the girls' mouths. Whoo! A fisting to test for virginity prior to a wedding and the girl lays on her side with blood oozing out. So hot! Lesbians eating each other out. Thank you, Bob Guccione! Various males circled around a chalice jerking off so that the woman can be rubbed with semen or drink. Has Larry Flynt heard about this!?!

I don't know. The people I had talked into watching Caligula were so stunned that I wonder if it was because of a lack of sex in their lives, understanding that some are kinky, or that the film is just gross. It's truly like a car wreck where you cannot look away. Mind you, this is a very large car wreck where a train flattened thousands of people as a midget received a blowjob from a woman that just finished with a massive dick in her mouth.

What I found unforgettable was the torture scene. I'm always curious about the body's limits to the abilities given to us. In this particular instance, a guard is suddenly accused of spying. He is then stripped, has his dick tied with a thin rope, forced to drink wine non-stop, and then cut open on the side. Ugh, it was icky but gets worse. The dying guard has his dick cut off and thrown to the dogs to be eaten. I'm not sure why 2 women come out of nowhere to piss on him but I guess at a time of no t.p. you need someone to hold your pussy lips open for a clean stream.

So, I bid you adieu as I live through another day of visiting the comic shop, work, and the gym. How I do these things without much rest, I do not know. What I do like is Sara's gym because a short walk there has you ready. Many flat screens keep your mind occupied away from the pain/pump of lifting mucho amount of weight. This happens at night so it's up to us vampires to keep this time period alive. Happy twats all around.