Tits And Jealousy

"Boys are silly
Boys are fun.
Are you confused?
Well, I'm not done."

-Me

Ah, great day! This totally makes up for the shit I had to go through yesterday where I start off with waking up in pain thanks to muscles in my back. Busy, busy, me. A part of all this happiness is realizing that I have a special ability to make boys jealous. Would you like to read about my day? Good!

First of all, let's start with something that brings back past memories, Stanley Kubrick's Eyes Wide Shut. Hopefully, you have seen this movie so I don't have to explain to you how fucking weird it is. My first time seeing it was in the theater during a late night showing since MR or I was off work in the evening. I'll never forget that night because it ended up me meeting him back at his house to find him standing there in front of his car dying to know my thoughts on the movie.

Eyes Wide Shut is a bit more than odd. For me, it was a lot of things that brought me to thinking that it was brilliant and full of questions that there was no point in answering. Does it question the power of fidelity? Are a husband and wife as powerful as they seem or as weak as they are behind closed doors? Just how the hell did Bill avoid enjoying himself at the orgy? When in roam of naked supermodels insisting on being fucked, there is nothing more pure than the smell of pussy in the room. Where can I get the lead orgy guy's red cloak? Eyes Wide Shut held even more power by having the orgy take place during some very eerie music. No Marilyn Manson but piano's few notes.

So, that's one thing I did. I had to have a copy of Eyes Wide Shut's new 2-disc version. This one is special because it's the unrated version only allowed in the foreign market. Apparently, the orgy scene was too explicit for American eyes so Stanley placed CGI people in front of the main action. Lots of gorgeous completely nude women but we just cannot allow ourselves to be corrupted by doggy style and 69'ing on a table. Man, it takes a very weird mind to come up with something like that, the style in making an orgy so beautifully needed. Normally, it's a bunch of drunk rednecks in the park with female meth addicts thinking the Jeezus on their toast told them to go fuck Herb.

Relax, it's just a movie. My day did not revolve around a fictional character played by Tom Cruise. Happiness comes in the form of getting to see man at his best. There is something about a deaf guy describe the most luscious of tits to you while you are working. Apparently, they've gotta be more than a handful for him while I still insist that anything more than a martini glass is not my kind of cup.

Obviously, I am still catching up with Deaf Guy at work. He's been there 10 years so there is all sorts of gossip and needless things to know. Who's got the best tits? Who walks around like she's permanently on the rag? Who's stuck-up? It's time for me to get the gossip on the girls that work further down from me. Why not? They do the same damn thing when it comes to us guys only not the guys that work there as much. Most just aren't pretty.

What I love is how a guy bases his whole liking a girl on the size of her tits. Oh, jeez, that makes her super cool, huh? Deaf Guy gets surprised when I tell him that's not quite my criteria. If you wish to know, it comes in her personality, thinking ability, inner toughness, eyes, ass, and tummy. Tiny tits are, like, so awesome because those girls are always so forgotten about it's mean. A must is for a girl to be able to feel comfortable with yelling at me when I've gosh darn gone out and done something stupid. 2 girls have been doing that for me for over 5 years:

1). Sara
2). Samantha

Another reason for having a good day is that I made 3 guys jealous, 3 older guys. In case you have never read my older blog, I have a knack at being able to talk to just about anyone. Just have a personality and be able to keep up with my need to act mildly retarded and we'll get along just fine. You see, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life works out in my gym on occasion after working for the local news center. Green eyes and a spectacular body will get you more attention than you wish for. Just ask this girl how many time she gets hit on.

I'm friendly and have talked in the past to this girl that makes guys' (all of them) heads turn. It's when my friend, Pat, watched as she paused during her sit-ups to chat that things got amusing. She got completely relaxed as we discussed the other newscrews' hairstyles, the good and the bad. As soon as we were done, 3 guys come up to me to ask about this girl and her name. Poop. Like I'd give out the deets when they could just walk up themselves?

It's fun to watch guys be so shy of women. The more beautiful one is, the more likely he will think she's taken. That's fine and understandable because, from what I've seen, it's true. What always gets me is how someone can bench-press 300 pounds but be made to feel as strong as a newborn lamb all because he has to talk to a girl. Asking her out has to be one of the hardest things ever. Unfortunately, a good trick is rarely thought of.

Become her friend first. Do you know how many girlfriends I've had were merely goofy pals I made in the gym or living in the area? Sara says my personality is addictive once I'm opened up while my ex, Jen, says I'm a handful all while seducing you slowly. Just going up to a girl and asking for her phone number is kind of creepy in my book. So is unzipping your hoodie slowly and then licking your fingers before placing them on the nipples. Most girls I know just want someone they can feel comfy around. Sara makes teradactyl noises in the bedroom. Does that give you an idea as to how the two of us got seduced on the first night we met?

FYI: Sara and I have a total disagreement as to whom seduced who first. I say it was her slightly naughty messages while she thinks it was I with inability to censor myself. The fight rages on.

So, I'm outta here as my fun in watching males fall over themselves over beauty rages on. How many times do I have to go through this, where guys get jealous of a girl I talk to? For your information, she is nice and I have no interest in her. I came right out and told her about Sara. I'm sure she'll get a kick out of this story if I go see her this weekend. Happy twats all around.